Is There a Secret to Consistently Making Dinner at Home?

I recently received this email from Amber:

My husband and I are both fortunate enough to work at least 40 hrs./wk at our primary jobs, then whatever overtime is available we work that, plus we both have additional jobs on top of that – but at the end of the day and with a new baby in the next 3 months, money just doesn’t stretch as far as we need it to.  I have a budget set up – and I am actually starting to do a good job of using/monitoring it.  And I am finding that our extra spending usually comes out on eating out, mainly quickie convenience meals (a pizza here, Wendy’s there) just because I don’t really feel like “cooking” in the evening.  I have this idea that it will take forever when in reality I know by going and picking up the unhealthy food it takes just as long and then I feel guilty on top of that because we are eating junk.  I have tried to make a weekly meal plan…but I hardly ever end up fixing what is on that plan – not really sure why but that is the case.  What is your secret?  What are you doing to find the time to prepare healthy meals for your large family?  And how do you budget the money for it?  (Our weekly household/grocery budget for 2 adults and our 2 year old is supposed to be $30/wk – normally I’m lucky if I can make it out of the grocery for under $50)  I need help!

 

Now, the poor girl is super patient, as she sent this on April 14th and I am just now able to get to it!  

But, I wanted to be able to allocate some specific time to the topic because it is complicated and there could be many reasons why this reader (or any of us, for that matter) is struggling with dinners.

First, please let me say that I am far from perfect and we certainly have had our share (especially lately) of picking something up on the way home from work.  Sometimes it is the best you can do.  That being said, it is possible to pull of healthy, quick meals at home, even after a day at work, if you can allocate enough planning and prep time before hand.

I would say that these are the key activities that can help you achieve your goals.

1.  Assess your priorities.

2.  Assess your budget.

3.  Make a plan on how to spend the budget

4.  Find recipes that work and plan the menu.

5.  Do the prep work.

6.  Reevaluate.

I will cover the first three in this post and tackle the rest in future posts.

One of my first thoughts after reading Amber's email was about what is going on in their life that they both work more than full time yet still have such a small food budget.  What you read is all I know - but I will offer up some thoughts that we all should ask ourselves from time to time.  

The first one is "How have I structured my life?" - that basically comes down to the very things we sometimes assume are fixed in our lives.  Where do you live?  Is it too expensive?  Do you really want to allocate that amount of money to a home?  This is an area that I personally have struggled with.  We built a nice house thinking that we would both work and our incomes would continue to grow.  Clearly we took a left turn.  Steve and his family did the concrete and brick work themselves - he is very invested in the house.  It was too hard for him to walk away and then the market tanked anyway and it was too late.  Instead, we have had to avoid car payments, live with less and make other changes in order to still make our mortage.  That is the type of analysis you may need now that you will have two young kids and your priorities may have changed.  It does not mean you are failing if you switch directions - it just means you are growing, learning and are brave enough to change to something that works for you.

There comes a point where you have to ask yourself if you are really spending money in line with your priorities.  If you are working like crazy to make two car payments and a large mortgage, are those cars and house really worth it?  This is just a thought.  Lots of people struggle just to live a modest life, I know, but my point is that it is worth challenging yourself as to what you spend money on.  I recently read an inspiring post by Gayle @ The Grocery Cart Challenge - read it here - on how her family gave up the cell phones.  That is a great example of assessing those things you assume are "necessary" and making some brave changes in order to afford the things you value most.  In Gayle's case, her family is dedicated to supporting her husband while he builds his own business.  What a wonderful motivation!

I guess what my point is here is that something has got to give.  There are only 24 hours in a day, right?  I think you are asking too much of yourself to try to work more than full time, prepare all meals from home and do it all on just $30 a week.  Either you need to work less (so you can prepare more from scratch) or spend more on some more convenient foods to help you pull off the meals from home.  And maybe even allow yourself one or two nights a week where you just go out or pick something up.  Give yourself a break - you are only human!

I should add that your budget problem could be that you are focusing on aggressively paying down debt or saving aggressively - both wonderful goals, but if it is at the cost of your sanity each month, maybe it is time to scale back slightly.

Once you have really, truly assessed your situation and decided what you can live without and that which you just cannot cut, take another look at your budget.  How much can you realistically afford to spend each week on food?  How much do you realistically need to spend each month on food?  You might as well be honest with yourself, as anything unrealistic will only set you up for frustration and failure.

Finally, take that budget and make a plan.  Let's say you decided it is more realistic to spend about $70 a week.  Maybe with that budget you can go to a sit down restaurant once a week, pick something quick up once a week and eat home the rest of the time.  Or maybe you want to eat home all but once or twice a month, but will plan on adding some convenience foods to your grocery order - pre-cut fruits or veggies, prepared meat or fish, shredded cheese, frozen waffles - stuff like that.

As for us, we spend about $100 a week on groceries.  Sometimes a bit more, sometimes less.  We also go to Costco occasionally, but we usually work that into our overall budget.  The bigger deal is that we buy 1/4 cow once a year.  That is about $450.  And I buy maple syrup from a farm in WI all in one pop for $160 for four gallons.  If you averaged that out over the whole year, it would bring our weekly budget to just over $110.  That covers all of us for breakfast, lunch (we pack ours if we will be at work) and dinner, except for the older two who take hot lunch at school during the school year.  That also includes any entertaining we do at home.  While I have been building a three month food supply, we have increased the budget by $180 - $300 a month for the past 3 months.  That is complete, though, and we are enjoying being back down to our regular amount!

I will do more posting on how to prep for success at meal time and share some recipes that work really well for us.  I may also go back to sharing what we spend each week on groceries and how we plan for our meal plans - I think a lot of people really struggle with this and I could use some extra focus on that area right now, too.

Just remember this:  While it is so very inspiring to see Gayle stick to a $60 a week budget for her family of six and Crystal spend just $40 a week to feed her family of four, both of these women readily admit there are seasons in their lives when they need to adjust that amount and it takes work and discipline to meet that extreme budget.  They are both home during the day - not that that is not super busy and it can still be hard to cook - but they are at least there to be able to try and get it done.  They make a lot from scratch - you have to in order to meet that budget.  That is the priority that they have set for their lives and that is why they are passionate and dedicated about making it work.  As I write this, I have worked about 20 hours a week for the past 12 months and I can honestly say that it is much more difficult to make that lower budget work when you are not at home or at least in control of your schedule as much as you would be when you are at home full time.  Note that I am in no way saying if you are home you have it easier - I am just saying that one cannot expect to do it all  - all the time.  You simply cannot be at work until 5:00 and expect yourself to have dinner ready by 5:30.

The simple fact is that there are only 24 hours in a day and we are only human - we can only do so much.

So, set your priorities (never mind what others are doing) and your budget and think about your plan.  That will help you know that you are being purposeful and when you set your mind to something - really set your mind to it and know what you are working towards - you can do more than you imagined!  Get your inspiration solid so your motivation is in place.

And watch for more posts on how to make the most of your time and budget using my favorite plan ahead tricks, quick and tasty recipes, as well as smart shopping techniques.